today

today is a hard day

hard and crunching and cracked

like the gravel on that middle path

where you greeted me

 

 

today is a hard day

like Samson I thought I slept among friends

only to wake up alone

to a bald head and barren lands

 

 

today is a hard day

hard and crunching and cracked

the sound of my voice or

the sound your straw made as

you twirled it in your iced coffee

 

 

today is a hard day

you heard it in my cracked voice

as I crunched cool tears back behind my eyelids

to try and talk to you.

and you know and know and you always knew

what was really wrong

the din hidden just on the other side

of this round face and these painted lips

 

 

but you try and you try and you try

to tease to talk to treat

to coax away the voices

of my mom of my ex-boyfriend of all those people

those resounding words of exclusion

 

 

and today was a hard day

but the sun kissing our faces

brightened my day

and that scent of

honeysuckle and fresh water and sunshine on the mount

the sound of your voice

the blue of your eyes when they peer into mine

the warm soft safe place that is your embrace

these are what light these sunset eyes

and these are the air in my lungs

and these

the gold honey of your voice

the gentle grip of your hands

the way your face is filled with love when you smile

these are things which carry me

 

on days like today

when I am hard and cracked and crunching

like the gravel on middle path

on the day we first met

four years ago.

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On Makeup

There’s a lot of rabble about makeup-of the surplus of high-end producers, of its flailing profitability,of the latest styles and trends. Apparently, its winter, so bold blues should be spattered across your eyes. Cool, right?

WRONG.

People in general seem to forget why we use makeup in the first place. The media tells us we use makeup to try and fill in our imperfections where they don’t fit the “ideal” state of beauty. But this is wrong; and if you are using your makeup for this sole and petty purpose, you are always going to be disappointed with the face that peers back at you from the mirror.

Makeup is not there to make you fit an idealized form.In fact, trying to fit that idealized form is  impossible; we as a species are widely varied in our appearances. No two people look alike,yet we are  constantly straining ourselves to fit one image of beauty.

I certainly don’t follow any trends in makeup; mostly because I could honestly care less about what some actress or similar media-manufactured archetype is wearing. Those people flitting about in front of television cameras aren’t me–sorry to seem cliche, but they don’t know me and they don’t know my life. I am not going to let their preferences and fashion choices dictate what I do.

Makeup isn’t about what other people are wearing. It isn’t even really about what makes you conventionally “pretty”.

Makeup is about expressing yourself. It seems terribly simple, but so many girls (and boys– its totally cool for men to groom themselves as well) subject themselves to trying to fit this image, of the perfect valley girl or boy; when really, all you need to be beautiful is to do what makes you happy.

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